2009/06/10
Gone to the army. Yep, zhun zhun on June 11.
If by any chance, u're looking for me, pls do not bother to call my phone. Do not bother to call my house phone either, it's obvious u won't find me thru both alternatives.
One method that might work is smsing. By smsing, i might see ur msg if i used my hp at nite or when i book out. However, if smsing still doesn't work, try e.mailing to me. It works sometimes.
If all methods fail, use the last and only method: Calling my hp on a saturday. Depending on ur luck, i might have booked out during that weekend. If calling my hp doesn't work, try again next saturday.
Recruit Yeo going to join Singapore Acting Forces. So long, mates.
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8:03 pm
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2009/01/17
One whole chain of events occurred, starting from sunday. Man, now my body's rly worn out.
Sunday:
Painting. Super tiring. Called the animal gang to come over to help, well, i guess only pig helped the most, kok was ruining the whole hse, while crab, dunno wad he's doing later. It's either he paint the wall unevenly or he succeeded in distracting us with his "xh is a piggie" song.
Me and xh had a bet to see if kok would come over in jeans and no spare clothes. Didn't tink we would be so zhun. He rly came over in jeans and no spare clothes. Well, the bitch xh didn't inform him that we were painting, so put all the blame on xh.
As for yw, he bought spare clothes. I was right to have faith in his intelligence afterall.
Didn't managed to paint the whole hse, but i guess it's probably gd enuff.
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Went for a haircut on thurs. I swear to the sky, it's the most fking scary haircut i ever had.
Went to the clementi haircut shop that i usually go to. Like last time, i go in without checking. To my surprise, a few things changed, such as:
- The hairdressers are all guys (there was only one guy last time)
- The wallpaper look kinda different
- The cashier counter was located at the left side (last time it was located on the right side)
- The curly hair auntie wasn't around
So, being me, i didn't question much and told them i wan a haircut, went in, and sat down. To my greatest shock, they place a cup of tea in front of me.
This was when i started suspecting if i got into the wrong shop. Not as in, different hair salon, but more of, this shop might not be a hair salon. It's only when they ask me wad kinda hairstyle i wan, when i calmed down a bit. Never did i thought the next shock came immediately.
That guy was touching my hair and head v.gently and asking me in a very gay tone how i wan my hair to be cut.
Was alrdy damn shocked, so i tried to kept my calm. I tink i muz be a real idiot, to only spot the kinda situation i was in only after i went in.
- All the hairdressers are guys
- All the hairdressers are toking in a gay manner
- Even the cashier who looks like the boss is toking in a gay manner
- All the customers are aunties
For the first time in my life, i dare not sleep during the haircut. Normally i only wake up after the haircut, but i seriously dare not sleep for fear something bad was gonna happen to me.
Seriously wanted to run out half way through the haircut, tt bastard (or bitch) keep touching my head unnecessarily and the gays around me were rly scaring the shit outta me. From this, u can see that a guy's worst fear is a gay.
Finally, haircut over, ok, let's run, guess wad the hairdresser told me?
"Please come back again!!!" in a gay manner.
"Like hell i will", i thought, and i siam super fast.
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MINDEF send my mum an interesting book.
MY SON THE NS MAN
Dear parents, your son will be enlisted for full-time National Service (NS) soon. As a concerned parent, you may wish to better understand the training or lifestyle that your son will experience while serving his NS in the Singapore Armed Forces, the Singapore Police Force or the Singapore Civil Defence Force, This handbook aims to provide you with a glimpse of all these and answer some commonly asked questions such as his ability to adjust to NS life, living conditions in camps, and safety in training.
- Commonly asked questions - We can already predict what u parents will asked, they all ask the same thing every yr
- Ability to adjust to NS life - Who gives a shit abt ur son's ability, we will make him adjust whether he wans to or not.
- Living conditions in camp - Ur son can answer this if he's been to ubin. It's a chalet! But it doesn't matter, cuz he's still being treated like shit there
- Safety in training - Remember the commandos who died?
Was laughing like mad when i saw this book. Piggie says during his time, they send his mum an old sergeant's diary at tekong. But it was dumped into the rubbish bin before it can reach his mum's hands. Well, i gave it to my mum without fail not becuz i got the guts, but becuz i noe my mum dunno english well enuff to read the whole book.
Yep, the army's getting more and more like a joke.
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1:35 pm
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2009/01/02
The long awaited medical checkup. Somehow, it makes u feel that army days are rly getting closer and closer when u go for it.
Conclusion: The army somehow feels like a joke.
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Comprising of 6 stations + 1 IQ test (probably testing ur IQ), it is designed to check every male's body to see if it is fit and healthy enough to serve the army without giving the army any problems. In other words, it is for their benefit, but they use the excuse that it is for OUR benefit.
1st Station: Hearing checkup. Comments: I am not deaf.
2nd Station: Eyesight checkup. Comments: Not colorblind, but eyesight definitely cannot qualify for Pes A jobs (thank goodness)
3rd Station: X-ray checkup. Comments: Where they're checking, i'm not v.sure also.
4th Station: Dental checkup. Comments: No comment.
5th(a) Station: Urine test. Comments: No problems for me, but many problems for one guy who had no urine at all (at that time) + water dispenser was spoilt, while the other guy can pee instantaneously after his 1st discharge. I definitely can't do that (the instantaneously stuff).
5th (b) Station: Blood test. Comments: Shit the bastards, they took 3 bottles of my blood, whereas they only took 1 for my frens. Should have said i wasn't obese when they asked me.
6th Station: Everything Station. Comments: A station where ur height and weight, heartbeat and blood pressure, blah blah blah was taken. The ECG sux, feels like those thingy are pinching u. To make things worse, i have to do it twice becuz the results from the 1st time cocked up. Also, they dun have the stupid examination whereby u have to pull down ur pants and cough. The guy also damn cocked, tell me to pull down my pants and after 1 SECOND, he told me to wear them. Wad a waste of time.
Outta all these stations, it is concluded that i am too healthy for my own good. Well, at least it beats kena-ing pes A. My pes: B. The other two bastards who went with me are pes D currently, one has Hep B and an eye which is 2000 over degrees, the other has high heartbeat rate and blood pressure.
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7th Station: IQ test. Comments: Stupid + bloody waste of time. Got totally pissed off halfway through, so since it's a MCQ, i juz clicked without thinking much. Maybe they'll classify me as stupid and won't put me in those frontline duties.
I noe they're concerned about whether another idiot will come and take the rifle outta the camp, but this isn't the way to do it.
Feel like 5 hrs of my life got wasted.
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Finally bought my phone. Yesh.
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5:10 pm
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2008/12/21
I tink i'm becoming bolder and bolder as the days pass.
Was eating supper at Clementi hawker centre last nite at roughly 10+pm with my colleagues. Surprisingly (for me), the whole hawker centre was closing down by 9+ and most of the stalls were alrdy closed. Maybe it's becuz from my memories, i rmbred the times when dad will bring us there for supper and it will be opened 24hrs.
So i sat there, ate my stuff, finished eating and got a great idea.
- Colleagues and HM share two tables.
- The table that HM was not sitting at had an empty seat.
- HM: eh, who was that old uncle ah? Why he sit there, u all like dun mind him sitting there?
- Colleagues: Huh? Wad old uncle?
- HM: ??? U all nvr see meh, the old uncle. He walked by, sat there, then i tinking why u all bo chup him. Then i heck care, cont eating, until i eat finished, look up, and he was gone.
- Colleagues: U sure a not....
- HM with a very puzzled face: U all rly nvr see meh? Or izzit my imagination?
- Suddenly got a v.cold wind blow by.
- Colleagues all suddenly looked damn scared.
- Colleagues: eh, let's get outta here la.
- HM: OK. By the way, did i mention wad i said was a joke?
- One of 'em got bua song to the max and chased HM around the whole place. Apparently, she got scared big time.
Conclusion: HM's scaring skills leveled up. Why? Cuz he went around asking the colleagues and they all got really scared.
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Boss (head of department) called HM into office two days ago.
Boss: Do u noe why u're here?
HM: nope.
Boss: The whole department is going on leave. Therefore, since u're gonna be the only one coming to work, u might as well take leave.
HM: wow, really? But if i got work, can i come back?
Boss: Best not to, for safety reasons. Since u're gonna be the only one in the lab.
HM: oh..... So my leave will be from 24th dec - 5th jan? i'm taking leave on 2nd jan.
Boss: ok.
HM leaves office and goes jumping around the whole company.
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12:15 am
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2008/12/14
The other day at work, i got bo liao and went down to di siao the mlh mother and daughter. Dunno how the topic changed, but we ended up telling ghost stories.
So, MLHMM pull out her scariest ghost story (supposedly) in a final attempt to scare me. Well, her 1st attempt failed and she got kinda pissed, so she use the final tactic which according to her, had the greatest effect on almost everyone she used on.
Except me.
I have to admit, for some odd reason, i no longer see ghost stories as scary stuff anymore. Lol, in case u dunno, i was so scared of ghosts last time, i even asked the army officer in JC if there are ghosts at tekong in front of the whole school.
Dunno why, but perhaps the incident did cause me to change. Not an immediate change, but probably a gradual change, as i go to the temple every now and then to pray to him.
Maybe this means my guts juz leveled up 100 times at least.
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Went to give yw his farewell dinner (SUPPOSEDLY) on wed nite. So we went to vivo city and i was still tinking abt wad to eat, when he went walking around, and call us over to this restaurant.
From the outside, u see the angmohs all sitting there, and the waiter was serving them meat DIRECTLY FROM THE METAL STICK, like a kebab, where the waiter cuts off the meat at their plate.
Wad's best is the meat still has smoke coming out, in other words, FRESHLY COOKED.
That's our cue for it.
The food was fantastic (so was the price). Ya, it was so good that i ate so much meat, that i ended up having a fear of meat for the next 2 days. Well, fish was still ok, but when i saw pork and chicken, i was kinda scared.
Imagine la. U go there and u eat all those meat that are cooked so fking delicious, that u can't help but keep eating and eating them again and again. Best part is, it keeps coming! An all-u-can-eat buffet afterall, so there was no need to hold back at all.
It's probably a nightmare for vegetarians though.
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Finally a weekend that i can spend time with my sexy xbox360. Damn shiok.
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11:27 pm
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2008/11/25
Came home today, ate dinner, went into my room and got a big shock.
My blanket was gone.
In its place was a new blanket. Maybe the new blanket was better than my current one, but instantly, i went to mum's room to complain and whine and shout and talk cock. Finally succeeded in rescuing my old blanket.
U may tink it's crazy, but c'mon la, i had 18 yrs of relationship with this blanket. Who the heck will give it away so easily?
I'm not one who will betray 18 yrs of relationship so easily. Muz hide it when i go NS in the future.
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D&D on friday was fantastic. I juz feel it's a pity that i didn't eat enuff of the food there.
Can't help it, though. Got dragged by my colleague to dance with her while i was still eating, wtf. Will be updating with photos soon, hopefully. I tink i dance v.well. Especially when i was dancing with the aunties.
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Sat's lunch total bill: $106.
What was ate: 2 bowls of meepok
How the bill was calculated:
- $3 per bowl of meepok.
- $100 for the car summon ticket
Time that we left the car: 1.15pm.
Time the ticket was issued: 1.20pm.
Damn campers. Shit u for camping at the double yellow line.
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9:58 pm
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2008/11/20
Went to gym today. Didn't wanted to go, due to the fact that my bag was totally overweight and it will cause my body and legs to be severely tired if i actually carried it and ran to the gym, but still ended up going becuz it didn't rain. Shitty weather, it nvr stands on my side.
V.few ppl went to gym today. Guess the muscle building trend's going low. I tink mf's seriously wanting some muscles, he macham every tues and thurs also go gym loyally. Come on la, pal, having more muscles won't help u in chasing the gal.
So we went to the weighing machine, where the 2 bastards stood there eagerly to see how much weight i gained. (Cuz i missed gym for 2 wks) and i stood up, look down, and got the shock of my life.
I lost 2 kg
I swear ah, the last 2 wks, i was on some sorta meat eating spree. Some of the meat i ate include:
- You-Crazy-What Burger, with 3 beef patties
- Pork Italian Sausage
- One big piece of caijun chicken
- Hot Pot Culture's unlimited beef and pork works
- Etc Etc
Guess this means that if u wanna go on a diet, pls go on a meat eating spree. Maybe u can lose weight like me XD
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Tink jasmine's out to get me for all the posts that i posted about her slacking.
The si zhar bo go and show all my photos to her "mum" (actually her colleague, but they got so close tt she eventually called her mum). To make things worse, there's this online drive that all coms in nestle can access. She actually went and post my photos there as well.
Tink i owe her a lot in the past and i'm paying for it now.
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10:57 pm
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